I thought it might be nice to share some of the things about this bonus mom life that come up, good and bad – funny and not so funny. So these will be short but sweet, but also hopefully helpful to some of the bonus mamas I’ve met on IG lately – which I have to say have given me so much love and support and I’m so happy I’ve found them.
I wanted to share some of those small little moments that sometimes make you feel uncomfortable but also really awesome and like you’re winning at the bonus mom gig. And I say it makes me feel uncomfortable and awesome all wrapped into one because it’s a loving moment that sometimes doesn’t feel like it should be mine. Does anyone else feel the same way? I’m starting to realize that yes it’s OK for it to feel good and be my moment.
Just this week after picking Mo up from school on our drive home she was talking about how she wants to be a vet when she grows up. And she says to me, “you’ll have a daughter who is a doctor to pets!” It was SO sweet, but also stopped me in my tracks because she sees herself as my daughter. Immediately it felt like I was doing something wrong – how would her mom feel hearing that? Honestly, I don’t REALLY care how she would feel if she heard that, I just always put myself in the other person’s shoes and also the empath in me goes there immediately so it both makes me hesitate and also fills my heart with joy. But again, it was our moment. It happened with just the two of us, it was sweet and it was special.
Another convo was while I was giving her a bath and she was asking me if I had any kids. I mean, it’s funny because of course if I had kids she would have FOR SURE met them by now, so I told her no. And she told me that I was like her second mom, and so she was like my daughter. We continued to talk about how lucky she is to have so many parents. Moments like those I realize I need to cherish. I could be in the complete opposite situation and I realize that. There is a very raw vulnerability to loving a child that isn’t yours as if SHE is yours. A child will always tell you how they feel – good or bad – whether it hurts your feelings or not, and yet you give them unfaltering blind love, and to know she gives that back to me is so special.
This bonus mom life can be HARD. It can test your patience, it can test your relationship, but it can also be the absolute best adventure you could ever experience.
Cheers and happy Friday to all you bonus mamas out there!