What happened to my blog?!

You guys!! Yikes, I haven’t written anything in months! There has been A LOT going on. I started writing this blog post a couple of months ago, and it started off highlighting how crazy last year was and all the things that derailed me from taking care of my blog and sharing things with my readers. But, as if that wasn’t just life keeping me busy, life really threw me a curveball…I was laid off from my job a little more than a month ago. So, I think in retrospect I can say that the last 13 months have been a whirlwind.

So, I figure this blog post can be a reflection on the year, and some of the things I’m looking forward to this year…especially given the most recent changes for me professionally.

  1. I started a new job – and got laid off – I left a place I called home for eight years, and a place where I would say 95% of my best friends are from. It was hard, but is turning out to be one of the better decisions I’ve ever made. So, I left this last sentence here because it’s important for me to think about the fact that, at one point that move was a good one. It hasn’t been feeling like that as of late, but it’s a journey and I’m on it, so I have to try to make the best of it. I just have to remember that I made some amazing contacts and friends during the year I spent at that company, and that my friends cannot be replaced.
  2. I started working primarily from home – This was directly related to the new job, but it was quite an adjustment. It’s interesting because so many people tell me they could never be productive at home, but I actually found that I got more done. When you’re in an office there’s a lot of relationship building going on, which is natural, but also takes up a lot of time that you could be spending at your desk being productive. On the flip side, I no longer had that interaction and sometimes missed it. So, flip side now is that I may get that interaction back once I land a new gig, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t kind of looking forward to that.
  3. I traveled a ton domestically – this was also directly related to work, but undoubtedly an amazing experience. I tried to think about just how many places I traveled to and had to list them to ensure I didn’t miss anything (but I still feel like I missed one or two):
    1. Austin, Texas
    2. Orlando, Florida
    3. San Diego, California
    4. Portland, Oregon
    5. Chicago, Illinois
    6. Washington, D.C.
    7. New Orleans, Louisiana
    8. Atlanta, Georgia
    9. Tampa, Florida
  4. I adopted a cat (begrudgingly) – there was a little black and white kitty that was wild (somewhat) and my mom had gotten her fixed so she wouldn’t surprise all of us with kittens in the garage. One day we realized she had been attacked on her neck. It didn’t look good and being the empath that I am, I decided that she would be taken to the vet hospital, and that if I paid to get her all fixed up, she would have to stay inside with me. I now have a black and white cat named Lilly – she also goes by Lulu, mow-mow, and Lil (insert eye roll here). If you know me, you know that I have Ruby who I love very much, but also that I had a cat named Allie for 17 years who was special to me, so taking on another cat wasn’t exactly on my list. It took some months, but this cat who was scared of everything now sits on my lap every night while I watch TV. She has turned out to be a sweet cat (despite the number of rugs she destroyed and the vet bills I endured).
  5. I bought a new car! So, I wrote a blog post about my first year driving an all electric vehicle. Well, a year in it was still a really cool thing and I liked it a lot…three years in I was over it. Range anxiety is a real thing my friends! Maybe I should write a blog post on what it’s really like to have only one vehicle and have that vehicle be 100% electric? It made life a little more stressful, and who needs that? So, in true Nikki fashion I went in the complete opposite direction and now have a fully gasoline 4×4 SUV.
  6. I put my health and fitness first. Since October I have REALLY concentrated on getting healthier, eating better and just moving more in general. I have started working out 5-6 days a week, I began incorporating Pure Barre and the stairmaster (P.S. – I HATE the stair master), and signed up for a round of Faster Way to Fitness. I plan to write more about all of those things in future posts, but a little more than 15 pounds down and I’m just feeling so much better both physically and mentally. I know people always says that working out does so much more than make you lose weight. It really changes your vibe in general.

I’m keeping it a little short but sweet as a reintroduction. But, I have so much more to write about and share. I’m also planning to increase my presence on Instagram. There is so much more I can be sharing there as opposed to always just here on the blog. I am realizing we have to be grateful for what we have and when we have it. I lost my job but I have also gained a lot the last month – and for every door that closes a window opens – boy is that cliche of a saying so true!

Signature

https://www.instagram.com/wishbonedreams/

Part One: Something we don’t talk about – Women CEOs

A couple of months ago I was attending a conference where they had a panel that consisted of Women CEOs, specifically in the utility industry. The panel participants were also the same CEOs who had been interviewed for a Korn Ferry Institute research project titled Women CEOs Speak – strategies for the next generation of female executives and how companies can pave the road. This project was also supported by The Rockefeller Foundation.

Korn Ferry is the preeminent global people and organizational advisory firm. They help leaders, organizations, and societies succeed by realizing the full power and potential of people. Korn Ferry Institute is Korn Ferry’s research and analytics arm, and was established to share intelligence and expert point of views on talent and leadership. They do this through studies, books and a quarterly magazine, Briefings. They aim to increase understanding of how strategic talent decisions contribute to competitive advantage, growth and success. So, as you can imagine I knew immediately that they would have an interesting take on women CEOs (or lack-there-of).

What motivates a study like this? When roughly 94% of Fortune 1,000 CEOs are men you may ask yourself, “what qualities drive the 6% who are women in the most elite reaches of corporate leadership?” To find out, the Korn Ferry Institute studied 57 women who have been CEO – 38 currently and 19 previously – at Fortune 1,000 – listed companies and others of similar size. They analyzed structured interviews with all 57 women and the results of psychometric assessments taken by two-thirds of them. The Rockefeller Foundation, which funded the research, wants to change the astounding fact that only 6% of Fortune 500 CEOs were women in 2017. Re-read that again. Only 6% of Fortune 500 CEOs were women in 2017. I know I have written a series in the past about women in the workforce, and I try hard to not sound like a hell-bent feminist (not that there’s anything wrong if that’s how you describe yourself) but I try hard to support women’s rights but also not be so into it that I don’t have a realistic viewpoint of what is going on. I think this study does just that by taking a very hard look at what is keeping women CEOs from becoming a norm and not a “nice-to-have” at companies. The Rockefeller Foundation, has established a target through it’s 100 x 25 initiative which is to have 100 women leading Fortune 500 companies by 2025. Korn Ferry’s portion of that initiative, called the CEO Pipeline Project, seeks to learn from the women who have already succeeded at becoming CEOs, and what women in the workforce now can do to take the CEO path, and most importantly, what companies and organizations can do to help women succeed along the path to CEO.

I have a copy of the study and found it moving so much so that I wanted to share it here, along with my thoughts – especially given that I have never had a desire to be a CEO, let alone even manage people. Nonetheless, I still felt it was interesting and useful information to share. Also, I feel as if this holds a special place in my heart. When I was working at the utility, I was present for the announcement of the utility’s first female CEO. It wasn’t lost on me that I was witnessing history, and she was also part of this study. I hope you enjoy what I have to share and reflect on with this topic.

To ground this research, Korn Ferry gathered publicly available biographical data about all female CEOs in 2017 Fortune 1,000 companies and compared that to a parallel example of male CEOs who led companies of the same revenue size. Interestingly, when demographically compared, male and female CEOs look very similar, and while the differences are subtle, they definitely add up. Here is a quick comparison:

  • The women were, on average, four years older when they got their very first CEO appointment, though it is worth noting that in the study’s male sample many CEOs were their company’s founder.
  • Overall, the women accrued more diverse experience by working in a greater average number of senior roles, functions, companies and industries.
  • The fortune 1,000 data also reveal that female CEOs are not spread evenly across industries.
  • They are in greater numbers in consumer goods, utilities, and finance (particularly insurance), but less represented in industrial companies and the health and life sciences.

The next question Korn Ferry asked themselves to ground their research, was: “is 100 x 25 attainable?” The answer is yes, but the pace needs to accelerate. They found that in higher-revenue Fortune 500 companies, women held the CEO role at 32 companies in mid-2017, up from 12 just a decade earlier and two in 1997! Now, this next fact surprised me, especially in comparison to other countries…it currently takes 269 days on average to place a female CEO in the US – which is 30% longer than the 207 days to place a male CEO. When compared to Europe and Middle East markets, there is no such delay and women are placed 14% faster than men, and in Asia-Pacific where they placed women 22% more quickly. What Korn Ferry says this suggests is that boards of directors in the US still aren’t open to female CEOs as boards in other countries. So, what gives?

Before I dive a bit deeper, for those of you who have the analytic mind (not me), I will outline the Korn Ferry Institute’s research tools:

  • Korn Ferry conducted structured interviews with the 57 CEOs, asking about key events in each woman’s career progression, including pivoted experiences, set-backs, and factors that enabled or hindered her success. These were analyzed and coded to determine common themes.
  • Their assessment for executive leaders specifically measured:
    • Traits: A person’s inclinations and aptitudes, such as personality traits and intellectual capacity. Traits also include attributes such as assertiveness, risk-taking, optimism, and confidence.
    • Drivers: Deeply held values and internal motivators that guide a person’s actions and decisions. A desire for power, challenge, or work-life balance are things we categorize as drivers.
    • Competencies: The observable skills essential to management success, such as innovation and strategic vision.

Some of the main characteristics identified were personal fortitude and courage – or what they like to call “the right stuff.” That’s what female CEOs exhibited in their assessment scores, beginning with their traits. According to Korn Ferry, their mean score matched their CEO benchmark on 16 of 20 traits, including persistence, need for achievement, curiosity, focus, assertiveness, risk-taking, and empathy. I know, as a woman, that I have many of those characteristics myself, and they are among the characteristics about myself that I am most proud of, so it was no surprise to see those reflected in their study. The places in which women deviated from the benchmark were in humility, confidence, credibility and openness to difference.

I have always believed that how you are brought up and just your own personal makeup is identified early on in life. Korn Ferry’s study found similarly, that personal traits are not immutable, but they are established early in life and difficult to alter. So, the close alignment to the CEO benchmark suggests that these women had the style and mindset of a CEO early in their careers. I thought this was so interesting! So, remember when you hear someone say – that little girl will be a CEO someday…they just might be on to something!

Additionally, Korn Ferry found that humility and valuing others reign over confidence, ambition and drive growth out of early formative experiences, and their outlook is optimistic and fearless. I’ll break them down below:

Humility and valuing others reign over confidence

  • High humility scores indicate a lack of self-absorption and more importantly, an expressed appreciation of others.
  • These women are very willing to give credit to people and situations that contributed to their success.
  • The female CEOs repeatedly made note of people who’d helped and supported them.
  • Credibility is generally shorthand for delivering on your word, but in their assessment it also captures something better described as dutifulness or “good soldier” behavior.

These are so interesting to me. All of those characteristics described above are exactly what I like to see in a leader, and I know for a fact I have made gripes and complaints of a leader lacking in all of those areas. Why isn’t this the norm in all leaders? Maybe that’s the problem – it should be the norm, but it is hard to come by. Could there be a direct correlation between that and the lack of female leadership? Maybe!

Ambition and drive grow out of early formative experiences

  • In the interviews, they heard that these traits have deep roots.
  • Asked about “key events in your career progression that contributed to your development as a person or a leader,” many spoke first not of their career but of their childhood. In their interviews, 23% of the key events the CEOs chose to discuss were about personal experiences unrelated to work.
  • Parents instilled resilience, high expectations, and a strong work ethic in their daughters. Some CEOs had particularly difficult childhoods – a parent was ill or deceased, for example – and they had to take on responsibilities when quite young.
  • More than 40% of the CEOs earned undergraduate college degrees in science, math or engineering. This prevalence of STEM degrees may seem surprising, but similar rates are seen in male CEOs as well.
  • Another 19% studied business, economics, or finance, while 21% were in the arts and humanities.

Their outlook is optimistic and fearless

  • Generally speaking, the women CEOs were not at all cynical about the corporate world they entered.
  • Their traits scores and interviews both indicated that they are highly optimistic, trusting, sociable and empathetic.
  • The interviews underscored how much emphasis these women placed on being authentic and remaining true to themselves.
  • Compromising on their values – or on their vision – is not in their makeup, even if it would mean turning down some opportunities for advancement.
  • Some said they didn’t feel they could give their all to a goal, strategy, or company that they didn’t believe in.
  • These women seek input at critical stages, then solidly make up their mind. And these women are exceptionally focused on pursuing their own vision.

What I especially appreciate about this study, is that they highlight key takeaways from each section for women and then separately for organizations. As you can imagine, especially given the numbers Korn Ferry offered about the slowness in approving women CEOs, organizations and companies can still take a word of advice on how to cultivate and identify potential women CEOs. To give you a taste of how Korn Ferry offers key takeaways for each section, below I have listed the takeaways for the information just outlined.

Takeaways for organizations

  • The traits that made these women CEO material – curiosity, willingness to take risks, persistence, and a need for achievement – were reinforced early in their lives. But these traits are not rare among women, and can be further cultivated in the workplace.

Takeaways for Women

  • An education in science, math or engineering sets a strong foundation for becoming a business leader.
  • While confidence is important, tempering it with equally high levels of humility doesn’t seem to have hurt these CEO’s careers.
  • Women should also pay attention to the issue of openness to difference. Women who are in the minority in an office might presume they are sufficiently exposed to differing (in this case, male) points of view. But CEOs aggressively seek out others’ opinions as they shape their own strategic vision.

I hope you have found this first installment of the Korn Ferry Institute’s “Women CEOs Speak” interesting. To really give you a detailed idea about what characteristics are most prominent in women CEOs is a great way to ground the study and to kick off my series of posts. Next up I will share with you how the traits outlined by Korn Ferry in this blog post are the ingredients needed to become a CEO. The main question Korn Ferry poses though is, what values and interests or motivators, referred to as drivers, guided the women’s career decisions?

Let me know what you think about this blog post and anything else you’d like to share about female CEOs!

Signature

Saying Goodbye When You Aren’t Ready

Recently, I had to say goodbye to someone who in all honesty, I hadn’t seen in a number of years. But nowadays, with Facebook and Instagram and SnapChat, it’s so easy to feel like you still “see” that person or even “talk” to that person, even if you really don’t. With that said, myself and many of my high school classmates had the shock of our lives. We had to say goodbye to someone we had all grown up with in a number of different ways. Some had known him since they were four, others were his coaches, his sweet and loving family, or for some of us we met during those early years in our teens where everything you say, and do and the people you meet shape a significant piece of who you grow up to be.

Do you remember your first real date? Not the kind of date where your mom drops you off at the mall and you meet up with a boy – I’m talking about the boy drives his mom’s car over to your house to pick you up and take you to the movies. THAT kind of real date. And do you remember your first kiss? How about your first prom date? I bet you answered yet. These are important and people-shaping moments and memories in a teenager’s life. For me, the person I had to say goodbye to was all of those things. My first real date, my first real kiss, and my first prom date.

When I heard the news shock hit me, then I was overcome with complete sadness. The tears just flowed. I was sad for the people who love him so much and wouldn’t have him to talk to every day, I was sad for his two beautiful little boys, I was sad for the sports community that he had been such a big part of…I was just sad. Then the memories hit me like a ton of bricks. I shared some of the most important high school memories with him. I quickly realized that I was so lucky to have those memories with him and that every time I think of him or look back on those memories, I won’t be sad for long because they will make me smile.

His celebration of life was probably the nicest thing I’ve ever seen. His sister and family did an amazing job and it really celebrated him. It also brought so many of us back together again – many of which hadn’t seen each other in 20+ years! Yes, there were lots of tears, but there were also a lot of laughs and that helped everyone get through the day, and if I’m being honest, I think it’s what he would’ve wanted anyway.

It has been a tough couple of months for the large group that I grew up with. There has been a lot of saying goodbye recently to those who shouldn’t be leaving  so soon, and while I hope this is the last one for a long time, I am inspired by the notion that in order to heal and support we are all able come together. My brother pointed something interesting out to me – my graduating class, which was the class of 2001, was very closely linked to the class of 2000 and the class of 1999. My brother also pointed out that not many classes after mine co-mingled, so-to-speak, the way in which 1999-2001 did and it was very evident at the celebration of life. We all truly care about one another and when the need to come together is there it will happen – and in huge numbers! Of course, we all agree that it’s nice to see everyone and we should do it more, however not in this way, but in times of need, sadness, despair, or whatever it may be that’s when those who truly have your back show up.

This loss has also put many things into perspective for me and has made me think about things a little differently: mortality, love, life goals, commitment, loyalty…the list goes on. Something like this makes you take a self inventory and ask yourself if you’re really making the most out of life. Do you need to make a change? Do you need to slow things down and embrace experiences more? All I can say is hold those special things and special moments a little closer and a little tighter to your heart, because you don’t know how long you’ll have with them, and just be grateful. Be grateful for what you have and even for what you don’t have.

For now though, I have found myself lost in my thoughts and sad for the weeks following. I appreciate the little reminders of him that I randomly see. Whether it’s my 6 year-old niece plastering an entire sheet of Star Wars tattoos across her chest (he loved Star Wars – made me watch it on one of our “dates” for the first time at his house), or seeing a “Beast Mode” t-shirt at the gym – these are reminders of him, and though they make me sad at first, they also make me smile and that is something isn’t it? My only regret is that I didn’t actually see him more after we graduated, but I take solace in knowing that I have some pretty amazing memories that will forever be mine and his to share. As I said before, this isn’t goodbye forever, it’s just goodbye for now.

Signature

 

Wishbonedreams Turns Two!

WordPress kindly reminded me that my blog turned two last month. Last year I was so excited and so aware when my blog turned one, that I did a whole reflective post and stats on my first year which you can read here.

This year, I was thinking it would be fun to reflect on my very first blog post, which you can find here Four Girls, a Road Trip & Camping. Two years ago myself and three girlfriends (the same three I was in Italy with), decided to road trip up to Oregon and go camping. And not some like comfy camping – I mean don’t get me wrong we had bathrooms and showers – but we also did good old tent camping. It was a lot of fun, but in reflecting on the post I realize how much my blog has changed. I’m still trying to figure out what the niche is – is this blog a travel blog? Not really. I travel, and occasionally share it on the blog, but that’s not it’s main focus. Is my blog about beauty products and outfits? At times I focus on those things, but not all the time. Is my blog about women empowerment and inspiration? Sometimes! The point here is that I still haven’t determined what this blog is supposed to be like, but people seem to enjoy it so I just write about whatever it is I’m feeling.

When I think back on the time I wrote my first blog, I had just changed jobs and was no longer doing executive communications. I was worried that my need to write wouldn’t be satisfied after removing that part of my daily work, so the blog was something to fill that void. It has definitely done it’s job! So much has changed since then! I am no longer working in that position, or at that company for that matter. I have traveled so much more since then – Italy, Mexico, all over the U.S. – and my relationships during that time have evolved, or gone away all together – both good things if you ask me 🙂 But what I’ve realized the most and appreciate the most is everyone who reads this little blog, and though I don’t always know how people are feeling about it, occasionally I’ll see someone I haven’t seen in a while and they’ll tell me how much they love reading my blog, and that is the reason I keep doing it! I enjoy it, it’s a way for me to express my feelings or share my experiences, but ultimately I love hearing that people enjoy it. For me, that’s the point.

I’m keeping this one short and sweet because really this is to say THANKS to the people who take the time read my little blog when it posts. Life gets hard sometimes and doing this makes me happy, and so I hope that reading it makes you all happy and relieves a little bit of the madness that life provides.

Signature

How to Pack for a Work Trip Like a Pro

When I took my new job I knew that there would be some travel involved. What I didn’t realize was just how much travel. Since the end of March I have traveled to Austin, Orlando, Chicago, New Orleans and San Diego – five different cities and four different states (I live in California), all within a four week period. That’s a lot right? As you can imagine, I had to figure out the best way to pack for these trips, because not only am I out on the exhibit floor but there are always activities during the evening at these things as well. With that said, I had to take to my list-making skills and really plan out what I was going to wear and when.

I gave up on the idea of only taking a carry-on. It’s not worth the stress of trying to put a week’s worth of clothes into a tiny bag, so eliminating that right off the bat was very helpful. I realize that many people only ever want to take a carry-on and by all means I feel that way a lot of the time, but for work it just made more sense to take a bigger bag. Anyway, I figured I would list here the process I use for packing. I realize other people probably have a more efficient way of doing this, but this really keeps me organized.

  1. I scroll through my Pinterest account for outfit inspiration. I used to do this the night before work every day (before I was working from home), and would frequently find cute outfits that I could put together just from looking at some of my style boards on Pinterest.
  2. I make a list of the outfit that I’ve been inspired by.
  3. Then I make a packing list that will include all of the pieces that I am planning to pull, in addition to things like underwear and pajamas.
  4. Pull the pieces from my closet and try them on. This is important…there have been times where I have packed something that I was certain would look great on, only to find out at the hotel that I was very, very wrong. So, now I always try it on first before I pack it.
  5. Take a photo of it once it’s on. Sometimes once I’ve tried it on and packed it, I get to the hotel and think, ‘what the heck did I pack this to go with?’ So, to avoid that, I will take a photo of the outfit I tried on so that I can reference it once I’m in the hotel.
  6. Shoes! Be strategic with shoes. Try to pack a shoe that will go with more than one of your outfits.
  7. Jackets – I try my best to wear the one jacket I’ll want on my trip, one the airplane – that way it takes up less room in my bag.
  8. Throw some dryer sheets in with your clothes! It will keep them smelling fresh. Isn’t that the oddest thing? I pack clean clothes, pull them out after half a day of travel and boom, they don’t smell clean!
  9. I always, always unpack completely once I’m in the hotel room. I used to not do this…I would literally live out of my suitcase and not unpack anything, but now that I’m traveling more for work it’s essential to unpack especially for those pieces that will get wrinkled during travel in your suitcase.
  10. Roll you clothes. I’m sure most people already do this, as I’ve been doing it myself for sometime – especially when I packed 10 days work of clothes for an Italy trip into an international sized carry-on.

That’s my list! I hope you find it helpful. I do have some new ideas though that I’m going to try out for one of my next trips for sure. For example, I keep seeing things about packing cubes. It’s supposed to keep things compact and organized – definitely something I’m going to look into purchasing. I also read that packing your socks and undergarments in a small reusable cloth bag helps with organization as well. Given that we use reusable bags for everything I’m definitely looking forward to trying that. Especially because I’m notorious for throwing all of my dirty clothes in the dry cleaning bag and separating them from my leftover clean clothes when I travel home. And another thing…I have yet to find a suitcase that I just love, so that is definitely on my list for future purchase, so if anyone has recommendations let me know!

Until next time folks!

Signature

Self-Care – What is it and what does it mean?

What is self-care? With all of things I go through, work frustration or relationship sadness or frustration, I find comfort in self-care. I have even suggested it as a way to cope with a break-up to some of my friends. It really makes a difference. For me though, the definition of self-care is taking that time to pamper yourself – get your nails done, an extra long pedicure, or a massage. For some people, that may just be part of their regular self-care routine and it isn’t extraordinary and therefore might not make them feel better, which prompted me to think about other aspects of self-care. I broke it down into physical, emotional, personal, social, spiritual, and practical self-care. I will caution this by saying, I am no expert, these are just my opinions on how you can take care of yourself when you’re not really feeling like yourself.

Physical self-care

This encompasses your basic physical needs. Sometimes, if I’m angry, going for a run is the only thing that will make me feel better. Maybe my mind is running around in circles and I’m overthinking something (shocking!), and yoga is the best way to re-center myself and clear my mind and chakras.  Pampering your body and just simply doing what feels good is part of physical self-care as well. Does a massage help you relax and work things out in your head? Or maybe help you not think about anything at all? For me, when I have a multi-day migraine a massage is the only thing that can clear it up.  Having a pedicure that is like the deluxe edition – hot oil etc. – will often be my go-to when I’m not feeling so great. Identify what works for you and have no hesitation in taking those steps to make yourself feel better!

Emotional self-care

This is identifying the best way to process emotions in a healthy way, figuring out what your good coping mechanisms are. Does meditation help you? There are so many great guided meditations on YouTube. I highly recommend exploring that option, not only will it help you think about something else, but these meditations will guide you back to the right train of though in case your thoughts go astray – which is likely to happen while meditating. Spirituality is also a good way to process emotions in a healthy way – if that is something you believe in and practice. Also, don’t be afraid to feel your feelings…just don’t live there for too long. I strongly believe that there is nothing wrong with a really good ugly cry. But have it, be in it, and then wipe your tears and say, “that felt great, but I can’t live here.” If another way of coping emotionally is seeing your therapist or calling a friend who is just a great listener, then by all means confide in those people as well!

Personal self-care

Some activities in the personal self-care area can be getting to know yourself in a different way. After a really bad break-up, I decided that I needed to shed some relationship weight so I got a trainer, signed up for a half marathon and discovered a new part of me who really enjoyed going to the gym, and wasn’t intimidated to grab weights and workout on the gym floor with others. It really helped me get out of my funk and begin the path forward. Trying new things – so I haven’t necessarily been a “cook,” and my mom would make fun of me in high school and college because I basically had no desire to cook – so who would want to marry me?! Anyway, with the introduction of at-home delivery of fresh produce and recipes I have discovered how much I enjoy cooking. It’s something I look forward to, and is very satisfying in the end. I’m one of those people who love to follow instructions and have an end product, so BlueApron is a great new thing that I’ve tried and enjoyed. Spending time alone is another personal self-care option. For some people this might be a bad idea, but if you have children or are involved with your family a lot, have a really busy social life, spending some time alone might be just the thing you need to reset and recharge. Making time for hobbies you enjoy is another personal self-care item that I think is often thrown off to the side. If you love to write (like me!) or draw, paint, read etc., then do it and make time for it! It really is a therapeutic task. Last but not least, have goals for yourself. Especially if they can directly relate back to self-care. Are your finances stressing you out? Set a goal to set aside something simple like 5 bucks a week. It will help feel like you’re making progress.

Social self-care

For some people this might not work. But, not getting enough social interaction is also a bad thing. I have realized how important social self-care is now that I work from home about 95% of the time. Even if it’s just getting out to run to the bank, it’s good! But in the same token, social interaction can be a little toxic with some people and that’s where having really good boundaries is important. I’ve talked about my issues with drawing boundaries in past blog posts, and I still struggle with it, but ensuring that someone isn’t going to drag you down with them, or impact how you feel personally is so very important. Create those boundaries and hold them to it – it is good for YOU!

Spiritual self-care

I talked a tiny little bit about this when we were discussing coping mechanisms, but if you are spiritual it’s important to take self-care in that area as well. If you’re confused about your beliefs, take the time to really figure it out. Read books about spirituality and prayer. I have found that many of the fellow bloggers that I follow frequently share books they are reading on prayer or their beliefs, or some of their bible study groups, so that is a way to engage in spiritual self-care.

Practical self-care

So this is doing things that are practical, but very much impactful. Getting your finances in order, completing chores…I feel so accomplished when I do really mundane things like vacuum the stairs, or clean the bathroom. For the short period of time it takes to complete those tasks, you can enjoy the result for multiple days. Of course, something else that lands under practical self-care is to set healthy work boundaries. Now that I work from home I have moments where I think – wow I haven’t stepped outside in 10 hours. If healthy work boundaries means stepping outside to go for a walk and clear your head, or checking your last email at 6 pm and not again until the next morning, then amen to you because that is a very practical self-care thing to do – and something I need to practice myself. Healthy work boundaries is also an area I struggled with in the past. Sometimes it’s hard when you become close friends with the people you work with to identify where your boundaries are – so take some time to really think about it and see what works for you and you work relationships.

I wanted to write this blog post, as I mentioned before, because I truly think self-care is important. As I began to write about it and search around a bit. I found that there were multiple ways to self-care, so I hope that by my sharing this you are inspired to start treating yourself to some self-care. Likewise, I hope that it reinforces the importance of continuing to treat yourself with the utmost care and consideration.

Signature

Dry Shampoo Round Up – My Recommendations

Many of my readers may know that I recently changed companies and my role is now almost strictly working from home, which is great! But what this has also brought to my attention is the need to not wash my hair as frequently as I used to. You may think eeww that’s gross, but in actuality it’s good to not wash your hair every day, and I was guilty of that most of the time. So, now that I’m working from home I find myself – yes showering every day – but not washing my hair as frequently. However, I battle having greasy or dirty looking hair after the end of day two, so I began the hunt for a good dry shampoo. Because I had no clue where to even start, I figured I would go through my endless number of samples I have in my laundry room closet, and wouldn’t you know, I had six dry shampoos to try! And so, it began.

Kevin Murphy – Fresh Hair

I am a Kevin Murphy user in general. It is the brand that the salon I go to carries and so it’s a product I’ve been using for a number of years. I have never been disappointed with a Kevin Murphy product, and I can safely say that I am still very satisfied! I received the dry shampoo as part of a kit – I think I had purchased a wash and rinse and the dry shampoo came with it. Anyway, I love it! Keeps my hair feeling dry and not oily, and was easy to style once I applied the dry shampoo. A plus, it smells fantastic – as does all Kevin Murphy products. I highly recommend it. Here is a link to it if you’d like to learn more: here

Oribe – Gold Lust Dry Shampoo

I am also a huge Oribe fan, and use their dry texturizing spray so I was very excited to see the sample for Gold Lust Dry Shampoo show up in one of my Birchbox orders. I have to say though, I was disappointed. It actually left my hair feeling more oily and  dirty. This is something I absolutely cannot have…especially if I already showered and chose not to wash my hair. It could simply have something to do with my hair personally etc., but for me it was a no. I have linked it here in case you’re interested in checking it out yourself.

Living Proof – Perfect Hair Day – Dry Shampoo

I loved this dry shampoo! I had never used Living Proof products – did you know that Target is carrying some of their product now too? Click here to check it out. They don’t carry the dry shampoo yet (I checked), but there are a few products. Anyway, I first saw this used in a tutorial by Brighton Keller. I love her blog and her IG account. I had been interested in exploring dry shampoos so when I saw Brighton’s tutorial on IG I was excited to see what she was using. Turned out she was using Living Proof, Perfect Hair Day Dry Shampoo! So, you can imagine my excitement when I found that I had it stashed in my box of samples! I loved it! I would say that it is a close tie with Kevin Murphy. It kept my hair feeling clean, not looking oily and smelled fantastic!

R+Co – Death Valley Dry Shampoo

I have to admit I hadn’t really used this product, and I’ve received a number of hair samples in my Birchboxes but hadn’t gotten around to using any of them. So, when I started looking through my box of samples for dry shampoo I was excited to give it a try. It can be found here. So, unfortunately I was not that impressed with this dry shampoo. For one, it was cold when it was applied, and stayed cold for a little bit which I found very strange and didn’t like the way it felt, and if didn’t make my hair feel clean. It smelled great, but didn’t do the job that Living Proof of Kevin Murphy had done. Again, it could just be my type of hair – very fine and prone to getting oily fast – so this is just me, but I will not be purchasing a full-size version of this.

amika – Perk Up Dry Shampoo

Next up was the amika – perk up dry shampoo which can be found here. Smelled great, and didn’t leave my hair looking oily, but it did leave it feeling softer than the Kevin Murphy and Living Proof dry shampoo did, which was off putting to me because super soft often relates to oily for me – especially with such fine hair. Anyway, it didn’t make my hair any oilier than it was, but I also didn’t feel like it kept it from looking that way. I have come to realize that when you spray the dry shampoo on your hair, often it’s best if you can actually see the product on your hair (i.e. sprays on as a white-ish color). I feel like that is a good marker that the dry shampoo will last and keep my hair from looking dirty. Anyway, if you don’t like it when dry shampoo makes your hair feel dry or look dry, then amika is probably for you. My hair felt extremely soft as opposed to a dryer feeling some of the other dry shampoos often give you.

Klorane – Dry Shampoo with Oat Milk

So, this dry shampoo came in my Fab Fit Fun box from I believe the winter box. I loved this (and even have it my hair now on day 3 of no washing). Klorane can be found here. Klorane claims that it’s dry shampoo absorbs oil in 25 seconds flat, and I believe this! Instantly my hair goes from looking dark and oil to refreshed. I love it. My only complaint is that it doesn’t really smell like anything, but for some people that may be desired. It adds a natural tint to your roots that surprisingly matches pretty spot on which I think is why it takes it from looking dirty to fresh and clean.

So, that is my dry shampoo roundup. I hope you found it helpful! I can say with confidence that I will be using Kevin Murphy and Klorane until I run out (they are full size products), and I already used all of the Living Proof sample, so when I’m fresh out of my existing dry shampoo I’ll have to decide which one to purchase. Let me know if you’ve tried any of these and what you think! I’m only one person, and a person with fine blonde hair so what worked for me may not work for all!

Signature